Too Wet
by BlameItOnTheNaquadah
Summary: Another story in the 'Too...' series. No need to read them in order, they're all onesies! SG-1 have to entertain themselves when they are stuck off-world on the soggiest, rainiest planet known to man. But there's something else going on as well... Mitchell, Sam, Daniel, Vala, Teal'c and Jack - the gang's all here!


**Too Wet**

Three tents were set up in a loose semi-circle, a small camp fire at their center set under a stretched tarpaulin. The flames had died down to embers an hour or so previously, and did little to puncture the thick, velvet blackness which rolled all around the tiny settlement. Several pots and pans were stacked neatly beside the fire place, and a mixture of pouches and cartons – the relics of several people's ration packs.

The highest chevron of the Stargate could be seen over the top of the conifer forest in which both the gate and the little camp were situated. At least, it could be seen during the daytime, or if it was a bright moonlit night. At the moment however dense cloud cover obscured the moon and stars, rendering the gate invisible from the little camp. A heavy, leaden downpour had begun about an hour or so previously.

SG-1 and General O'Neill were ensconced in the three small tents – Sam and Vala in one, Teal'c and Mitchell in another with Daniel and Jack in the third.

Jack would very much have liked to share his tent with Sam.

Vala would especially have preferred to share her's with Daniel.

Neither Jack or Vala thought it wise to voice their wishes however. Thus everyone was setting about the process of settling in for a wet evening of entertainment in their own tents, interspersing their activities with shouted comments to each other across the darkened campsite.

Vala sat dismally on her bed roll, no boots on, poking absently at a small patch on the wall of the tent.

"Hey!" Sam tweaked her hand away. "Stop it! You'll let the rain in!"

Vala glowered, but stopped her ministrations. "I'm bored."

"We're all bored." Sam was attempting to get her jacket off in the confined interior of the small tent. She accidentally punched the canvas wall nearest herself in the process, feeling a slight sogginess on her fist as she did so. Darn it.

Vala huffed at her. "You just touched that bit of tent there. I saw you."

"I didn't do it on purpose." Without thinking, Sam stoked the fabric, as if soothing it, but only felt the patch of dampness increase in size. Wisely, she moved away, pretending that nothing had happened. She handed Vala a small chocolate bar, which succeeded in perking the alien up considerably.

"Why, thank you, Samantha, how kind of you." Smiling, Vala began to break chunks off and pop them into her mouth. She offered a piece to Sam, who shook her head.

"Hey, kids!" Jack's voice broke over the camp. "Everyone okay out there?"

"Yes sir." There was a lot of rustling from the third tent as Mitchell shouted back his reply. Then a muffled – "I thought that you packed them?"

"Indeed." Teal'c's rumble was unmistakable. "I believe however that I instructed ValaMalDoran to place them in her equipment as I did not have room in my own."

"Room for what?" Daniel called, intrigued.

"Room for playing cards, DanielJackson," Teal'c replied.

"Yes, I've got them!" Vala pulled the pack from her chest pocket and waved them gleefully, even though the only person who could see was Sam, who merely rolled her eyes.

"Well, that ain't much good," Mitchell sounded disgruntled. "And Vala? I don't have any money with me, so it's no good setting up a poker game in there!"

The alien pouted, tossing the cards down in front of her.

"It's too wet anyway," Daniel's voice sounded boring and bossy. Vala wanted to shake him. "The rain is coming down too hard to even get out of our tents!"

This was true. Heavy rain had become very heavy rain, had become extremely-very-heavy-of-the-torrential-downpour-type rain. The canvas sides of the tents began to bow inward as they became completely saturated with water.

Vala pulled her backpack away from where it had been close to the tent side.

Sam, listening to the endless thrum, thrum, thrum of rain against the canvas roof, decided not to open her bed roll until she needed to actually climb into it. Looking at the time on her watch she felt her heart sink – it wasn't even 20.00 hours. The thought of a long night trapped in a soggy tent with a bored Vala didn't bear thinking about. Sam sighed, and began to write down a few notes in her all-weather notebook.

Vala, laying flat out on her own sleeping bag, hummed tunelessly to herself. She fiddled absently with a small artifact that looked like a glorified button, which Daniel had left in their tent earlier. A few minutes passed before she brushed her bangs out of her eyes, feeling a sudden itch on her forehead. Another few seconds and it happened again – leaving her fingers in place, the alien felt wetness.

Vala propped herself up on her elbows, frowning. She looked at her hands, then the ceiling of the tent.

"Samantha!" she squeaked, moving just in time as a sudden stream of water gushed straight down the side of the tent and pooled quickly up one side of her sleeping bag. "Oh no!"

Jumping to her feet, Vala snatched up the extremely soggy bedroll, accidentally squashing her head against the canvas as she stood, making the problem worse. More rain ran in, all over her, down the neck of her BDU jacket and straight through to her lacy underwear beneath. She squealed, sitting down as quickly as she could, hair and top half decidedly wetter than previously.

"Oh Vala!" sighed Sam.

At the same time Jack yelled "What the heck is going on over there?"

"It wasn't my fault!" Poor Vala was aggrieved. "I didn't touch the walls of the tent anymore, really I didn't! The rain came in on it's own, without my help! Sam – you're my witness – you know I didn't touch it! I was being calm and good, really I was Jack! I wasn't even playing cards. The stupid rain did it all on it's own!"

"Did what?" Jack's loud shout from across the darkened campsite interrupted the alien.

"The tent is leaking, sir," Sam told him. "But Vala is right, it wasn't her fault. The rain is just too heavy. I've never seen anything like it!"

Jack didn't think that even he had seen anything like it, either. People spoke about rain coming down in sheets, but here – it really was! It felt as if huge buckets of the stuff were just being continually hurled, one after the other, on top of them.

_Give me a nice boring desert any day_, thought Jack. _Better for the old knees too._ He grimaced and flexed the troublesome joints – rain didn't do them any good at all.

"Well, we've got the biggest tent, Carter," he told the two women. "So you'd best bring what you need, pack the rest of your kit up carefully, and come on over."

There was a short pause. "And bring the damn playing cards with you!"

Sam grinned. "Yes sir!"

Vala already had one of her boots back on – not even pausing to do the second one up properly she flew out of their tent without waiting for Sam, and hurtled across to the larger one, dripping water all over Daniel as she plunged inside without warning.

"Vala!" he complained, trying to move out of the way as she rained droplets of water down on him.

"Sorry darling," she crouched next to him, grinning, before tossing her long hair over her shoulder and splattering him again.

"Stop it!" Daniel glared, and forcibly took hold of her arms, manhandling her away from himself.

Vala stumbled and sat down hard on her behind as a flash of dejection skimmed briefly cross her face.

Daniel hesitated, then said in a much quieter voice, " Sorry, Vala."

She shrugged, but didn't smile again.

Daniel sighed inwardly. He really was sorry – he'd spoken too crossly and reacted too quickly, but the alien never learned! She was too giddy, too flighty – too excitable! He hadn't meant to upset her however, although he knew that she never _would _admit that he'd hurt her feelings.

Vala shook the cards out onto the floor of the tent, seemingly having forgotten the incident already.

Daniel knew that she hadn't. Still waters ran deep, not that there was anything remotely still about the alien woman – ever! – but he knew that she took everything into her big generous heart, to contemplate and mull over.

Taking the opportunity given by Sam scooting quickly and considerably damply, into the tent a minute or so later he caught one of Vala's hands in his own, and tugged at her.

Looking up, she wanted to be cross but felt herself failing dismally. The alien still managed to rustle up a fairly decent glare however.

"I _am_ sorry," Daniel squeezed the hand that he still held. "Really. I didn't mean to knock you over."

Vala's expressive slate blue eyes seemed to bore into him, before she flashed a small but genuine smile.

"I know, darling." She returned the squeeze before pulling her hand gently out of the archaeologist's. "Daniel's on my team!"

"Are we having teams?" Jack raised his brows, trying to look perplexed – as if he was an innocent, first time poker player.

"Oh yes!" Sam leaned her chin onto her General's shoulder. "If I'm playing Vala at anything, then I'm having a team of my own!"

- o - o - o - o - o - o -

Mitchell lay on his back, on top of his bedroll, listening to the four of them playing card games in the other tent. They'd moved on from poker – Vala was beating them all spectacularly at pontoon now.

Mitchell strongly suspected that she'd secreted any card with the letter 'A' on it about her person somewhere. The alien was a shocking cheat at card games, but that was how she'd survived out in the big, bad galaxy he supposed. One of these days he was going to teach her a game where she couldn't find a way to cheat. The woman had even been known to cheat at snakes and ladders! And as for Monopoly – well, the fun she could have with the Community Chest and Chance cards didn't bear remembering.

A shout of laughter broke from the other tent. It was Jackson, chuckling at something Vala was up to in there.

Mitchell smiled – the archaeologist was definitely warming to their team mate in a certain special way at last. If those two only knew the bets which were laid both for and against them at the SGC, they wouldn't believe it.

_Although_, the Colonel thought, _Vala probably knows anyway. In fact, she's probably put a bet on herself._

Mitchell cast a quick glance toward Teal'c , who was sitting, cross legged, eyes closed, at peace with the world. Nothing seemed to disturb his placid, serene countenance.

Sighing inwardly, Mitchell wished that he could find a similar quiet within himself. He closed his eyes, hands behind his head, and listened to the foursome in the other tent, as he gradually dropped off to sleep.

He was awoken by Teal'c shaking his shoulder, frowning. At the same time a succession of rapid drips ran down the Jaffa's arm, and straight up Mitchell's BDU jacket sleeve.

"What the heck is going on?" Grumbling, the Colonel sat forward, looking in irritation at the roof of the tent. Water had come through in several places – luckily, apart from Mitchell's bedroll, his possessions had all still been inside his rucksack.

Mitchell scrambled up, dragging the aforementioned bedroll with him – it was slightly soggy at one end but otherwise had escaped the deluge.

"The tent appears to be leaking, ColonelMitchell," Teal'c informed him, stoically.

"What's wrong with these darn tents?" Mitchell growled. Then he paused. "Wait – what was that memo going around the SGC last week – about a substandard order of weatherproofing?"

"Indeed." Teal'c inclined his head. "I read this memo also. The tents affected were left in the MALP store room, so as not to mix them up with the properly weatherproofed ones."

"Who got hold of the tents for us today?" Mitchell rubbed his chin, thinking.

"I believe that it was GeneralO'Neill who procured them," Teal'c replied, gravely.

How had Jack managed to muddle up with the tents so badly? Mitchell was perplexed. The ex-head of the SGC was exemplary in his preparation for every single mission – how on earth had he managed to get hold of such a dud load of tents?

_ Best not to tell him,_ thought Mitchell. _Don't want to put the old guy in a bad mood – especially during his precious time off with Carter._

"Sir?" calling across the dark camp site, he began rolling up his bed roll, leaving the damp end until last.

"What?" came the reply.

"Our tent's leaking. Badly. How much room you got in there?" Mitchell picked up a torch and his Zat.

"Mine's bigger than yours!" Jack sang out, in a jokey tone. Then - "You'd better come on over."

The rain was still coming down as if it was being poured out of giant hosepipes in the sky. Teal'c and Mitchell moved as quickly as they could across the short distance between the tents, plunging inside and showering everybody else with fresh raindrops.

There was a consensus of "Hey, watch it! Mind! Ow!" and other, ruder expletives from Jack's direction as the two newcomers settled down.

Jack and Daniel's tent was indeed somewhat bigger than the other two – it had a larger sleeping area, plus an extra extension for equipment to be stored in. It would be a squeeze, but all of the team should be able to fit in, especially as at least one member would be on watch at all times.

"So," Mitchell looked around expectantly, "what are we playing?"

"We _were_ playing poker, but somebody was cheating," Daniel stated, flatly.

"Was not!" Vala looked indignant.

"Then we were playing pontoon," the archaeologist carried on regardless, "But someone was cheating at that too."

"I didn't!" Vala punched him hard on the arm, looking furious.

"What's this then?" Jack caught her wrist, and tugged the King of Hearts and an Ace from inside her BDU jacket.

The alien grinned, unabashed. "Well, that proves it, doesn't it? That I wasn't cheating! Because, if I had been cheating, then the cards wouldn't have been up my sleeve, would they? I'd have already laid them down wouldn't I? Hmmm?" She looked justifiably triumphant.

"Ack!" Jack shrugged, but with a twinkle in his eye.

"Let's tell ghost stories," Sam suggested.

Jack looked at her as if she was mad.

"Come on sir, it's fun!" Sam widened her eyes, smiling encouragingly. "Like when you're on high school trips, and kids tell each other stories just to scare themselves stupid."

"Carter." Jack's face was deadpan. "In case you didn't realize, it's an awful long time since I was at high school."

"Oh let's though!" Vala was bouncing. "Let's tell ghost stories!" She grinned at Daniel.

Her bright, guileless smile caused him to stutter slightly as he replied. "S – sure," he cleared his throat. "Why not?"

"I'm up for that," Mitchell made himself more comfortable, throwing his bedroll across the tent into the small storage area. Jack's tent was still stoically keeping out the rain – in fact, not one single rain drop appeared to have had the audacity to creep inside all evening.

"I do not believe in ghosts," Teal'c stated, categorically.

"You don't have to," Sam told him, smiling. "You just have to join in with the fun of it."

"In what way is the telling of invented ghost stories fun?" Teal'c looked slightly confused.

"You'll see!" Mitchell held his torch up to his face, slanting the beam upwards. "I'll go first."

Vala chuckled appreciatively. She wriggled around to face her CO, leaning back against Daniel.

The archaeologist grumbled, but made only a half-hearted attempt to push her off.

"One night," began Mitchell, face alternately glowing and shadowed by the light, "a young love struck couple were driving home through the deserted countryside."

"Desert," Vala sighed, interrupting. "Do we have any more desert?"

"Vala!" Sam poked her.

"Sorry," whispered the alien.

"One night," Mitchell re-started.

"You have already told us that part," Teal'c reminded him.

Daniel grinned surreptitiously.

Mitchell glared at them both. "So the car breaks down," he continued, loudly. "And the guy says to the girl, 'I'm gonna walk to the nearest town and get help. You wait in the car.'"

"Why didn't she go with him?" Vala inquired, interested. "Why is she such a scaredy mouse that she won't go walking in the dark with her boyfriend? I'd go walking in the dark with my boyfriend." She paused, looking blatantly at Daniel. "If I had one, that is."

"Ssshh!" He shoulder-nudged her. "And it's scaredy cat."

"Scaredy mouse is better," Vala grumbled back at him.

"So!" Mitchell rapped her sternly on the arm with his torch. "The guy leaves the girl all alone in the car and heads off to get help."

"I too believe that this was most un-gallant of the young man," Teal'c mused, pondering. "He would have done better to remain on guard and wait until the morning when there would be an increased chance of procuring assistance."

Jack let out a bark of laughter.

Sam elbowed him sharply in the ribs.

Jack frowned and "Ouch!"-ed but kept his arm casually draped around her shoulders.

Mitchell glared at them both, before carrying on regardless."Anyway," he held the torch up to his face again. "A while or so later, the girl hears, suddenly, 'BANG, BANG, BANG' on the roof of the car!"

Vala jumped, her head clouting Daniel on the chin.

He shoved her away from himself.

She barely noticed, so entranced was she in the tale. "Was it a ghost?" Eyes huge, she tapped Mitchell hard on the knee. "Was it a monster? What was it?"

"Patience, Princess," he replied, blue eyes twinkling.

Vala shuffled closer and leaned her arms on Mitchell's knee.

Daniel, suddenly becoming aware of this, frowned and pulled her back towards himself.

Jack grinned, unseen.

"So, the girl hears the noise again – 'BANG, BANG, BANG!' – she's terrified!" Mitchell winked at the alien woman. "What should she do?"

"Does she have a Zat?" Vala asked, breathlessly. "Does she have any C4?"

"Nope." Mitchell shook his head. "She's just a sweet country girl, she don't know about those kinda things."

"So she does not have weaponry of any kind?" Teal'c asked.

"Nope."

"Not even a hair pin?" Vala suggested, touching the little sparkly star which nestled in her own black tresses.

"Not even a hair pin." Mitchell flicked the torch up again. "She sits in the car, terrified. She locks the doors, and puts up the windows, and sits in the dark. 'BANG, BANG, BANG' again, then again. And then, do you know what?"

The two aliens shook their heads, mesmerised.

Vala had crept up next to Teal'c now and was practically sitting in his lap, one hand gripping tightly to the sleeve of his BDU jacket.

A rush of unforeseen feelings washed through Daniel when he noticed this, again he extricated the fruitcake and pulled her back towards himself.

Vala scrunched up into a ball, tucked tight against the archaeologist's chest. Her eyes were shining with excitement at the story, both of her hands now gripping hard onto Daniel's knees.

"Suddenly – SMACK!" Mitchell slapped his hands together loudly.

Vala jumped again, fingers tightening on Daniel's BDU's.

"A swarm of police cars pull up, sirens blaring, blue lights flashing. They skid to a halt in front of the girl's car, officer's leaping out –"

"Do the officers have weaponry of some kind?" Teal'c, inquired smoothly.

Poor Mitchell. He smacked his forehead with his own hand, sighing. "Yep. They have weapons. Everyone has weapons, except the girl."

"Did her boyfriend have a weapon then?" Vala queried. "Why didn't he leave it with her, if he had a weapon?"

"He didn't have a weapon!" The Colonel was getting more and more exasperated. "Only the police had weapons! The guy had no weapon, the girl had no weapon. Now, do you wanna hear the rest of the story or what?"

"Yes please," Vala looked meekly at her CO.

Teal'c inclined his head. "Indeed."

"So, the cops all get out of their wagons, and the girl hears a scuffle outside then one of the guys' comes up to her and says 'okay, get out of your car and come with me but don't look back, keep your eyes closed.'"

Mitchell paused, but there were no smart quips offered up. The two aliens were hanging on his every word.

"The girl gets out, and walks away, but then she turns around. You know what she sees?"

"I do not." Teal'c's face was impassive.

"Me neither," Vala whispered.

Daniel, Sam and Jack all knew the punch line – anyone who'd ever been to any high school on earth probably knew the punch line!

"She sees this madman, standing on the roof of her car, and you know what he's holding? What he's been banging on the roof of the car?" A long, silent beat. "Her boyfriend's severed head!"

Nothing. Not a squeak. The two alien's looked at each other.

"Well, first of all, his head wouldn't go bang, bang, bang, would it?" Vala said prosaically. "It would be more along the lines of 'squelch, squelch, squelch,' I would imagine. And wouldn't she have noticed the blood everywhere? And how did the madman get up onto the roof of the car without her noticing? Wouldn't she have felt the car rocking? Unless she fell asleep of course – did she fall asleep first? You missed that part out if she did. And why did she look back anyway? She should do what the police guy said and not look back. I bet she screamed and fainted afterwards too – stupid woman. The Tau'ri always over-react to things like that. No offence, Samantha."

Jack, Sam and Daniel were all laughing so much they could barely take note of what Vala was saying

"None taken," the blonde Colonel managed to stutter out.

"I concur." Teal'c put in. "The woman concerned is a most foolish one. She should have obeyed the officer's orders and quickly left the scene of the crime."

"I give up." Mitchell tossed the torch aside. "You people are all crazy, you know that?"

"It's a silly story," Vala told him. "Even Daniel could make up a better one. Couldn't you darling?"

"Possibly." He wrapped a long strand of jet black hair dreamily around his finger and tugged gently. Then blushed and hurriedly untangled it once he realized what he was doing.

Jack was smirking knowingly. "Anyone else with the horror stories?" he asked.

"I'm not sure that I can top Cam's, actually," Sam giggled. She smiled apologetically at her fellow Colonel. "Sorry."

Mitchell shook his head. "I'm taking first watch," he said, pulling up the hood of his jacket and preparing to collect his waterproof overcoat from the other tent.

"I will accompany you," Teal'c told him, perhaps as a gesture of peace after the whole 'horror story' debacle. They left the tent, Mitchell calling back that the rain was easing at last.

It was way past 2200 hours by now.

"What shall we do about sleeping bags?" Vala asked brightly. "I don't have one – it's all wet. I could share Daniel's!"

"No chance." Dr Jackson looked blankly at his team mate. "Not in a million years. You can share with Sam."

"Never in a million years," Jack said, dragging Sam's sleeping bag up next to his own and beginning to zip them together.

"Shall we all get in a giant sleeping bag then?" Vala suggested, looking hopeful. "We could zip Daniel's on to your bag."

"Nope." Jack took one boot off, then the other. His belt followed, flying across the tent into the little area where the rucksacks were stored.

"Where shall I sleep then?" Vala tried to smile, but it slipped uncertainly.

Daniel gave a tiny sigh. Sometimes, just occasionally, the alien managed to tug at his heartstrings in just the right place.

"You can share with me," he told her, quietly.

The expected shriek of joy didn't come, just a tiny "Thank you, Daniel."

Daniel removed his own boots, and belt, slipped off his jacket and laid aside his glasses, then clambered inside the makeshift bed.

Vala hesitated, suddenly wary of showing how very much she wanted to be inside that sleeping bag with the archaeologist.

Sam had no such inhibitions and was already belt-less and boot-less and tucked in next to her General.

Slowly, Vala slipped in beside Daniel.

He turned onto his right side to give her more room.

She backed in tightly against him, tugging ineffectually at the zip on the sleeping bag.

"Here." Daniel put his hands over her's and pulled it up almost to the top. The two of them were snuggled in closely together now, her back to his front.

Vala swallowed, suddenly afraid of she knew not what. She felt vulnerable, timid. Which was ridiculous, seeing as she was the awesome Ms Mal Doran, space pirate extraordinaire.

Daniel seemed to pick up on her uncertainty. "Lie still," he whispered. Then, even quieter, so that only she could hear, "I've got you."

Vala sighed out a long breath which she hadn't realized she'd been holding, and cuddled down. It was warm and dry inside the sleeping bag,

Daniel had his arms outside of the material, he gently wrapped them around her, feeling a little strange and shy himself. Vala's beautiful black hair was spread across his arms and the top of the bedding, her pale face gentle as she relaxed, dark lashes fanned out under her closed eyes. Something was stirring in his heart – and somewhere else too.

Suddenly, Vala turned over, slate blue eyes wide and mischievous. She stroked his face softly, along his jaw line.

"Darling, is that a Zat in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?!"

- o - o - o - o - o - o -

The camp had subsided into near silence.

Mitchell and Teal'c sat on watch, underneath the tarpaulin which protected the little campfire. They'd prodded the flames back into life and were enjoying a cup of coffee. The rain had tailed off it's previous ferocity to become a gentle, if relentless, drizzle.

Daniel and Vala were 'spooning' inside their one sleeping bag, the archaeologist's arms still encircling his fruitcake alien who slept quietly within the embrace.

Jack thought that his friend was asleep, until Daniel opened his eyes briefly and grinned at the General. He pulled Vala back against himself even tighter and wriggled to get comfortable, closing his eyes again.

Sam was also asleep, one arm thrown across Jack's chest, face snuggled in against his neck. He smiled and tightened his hold around her, kissing the top of her blonde head as he gently ruffled her hair.

Jack thought back to the preparations that he'd made for this trip.

Finding those tents that needed re-waterproofing had been a stroke of genius on Walter's part, managing to get the team to use them without realizing had been another. It always rained on this planet, everyone knew that, so where better to go and do a little bit of inter-planetary conversation with the locals than here? If you wanted to carry out a plan which led to your fiancée being able to share your tent with you, that is. And gave one of your best friend's the opportunity to finally get to grips with his own feelings for a certain feisty alien who hung around at the SGC. The loss of the sleeping bags had been merely an added bonus.

_Yep_, Jack thought, smiling to himself in the darkened tent._ I can still plan a black ops maneuver with the best of them._

He leaned across Sam, kissing her again, and flicked out the lamp.

Goodnight, all!

**The End.**


End file.
